SUICIDE SQUAD: A Review

BEWARE!!!! Spoilers from the movie "Suicide Squad" are below. If you haven't seen the movie yet, read at your own risk!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I have very little experience with the source material this film is based off of. Please forgive me if I get some details incorrect.

See how EDGY we're trying to be? We're SOOO not mainstream!!!

I had fun writing the Nerve review, and since I've recently seen Suicide Squad (on August 14, to be specific), I decided to do another review.

I looked at the #suicidesquad part of Twitter, and I actually didn't find as many "100/10" reviews and "OMG this is the best film ever" people as I did with the #nerve area. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of "this film is so good" kind of people, but there were quite a few "Eh"s. And I myself thought of it as an "eh".

So why is this sequel to Batman vs. Superman (which I haven't seen) an "Eh"? Well, let's see:

The movie starts off at some prison where all of our Suicide Squad members are conveniently at and showing one of the most infamous news stories (at least in this decade): Police brutality! You see hit man Deadshot being given nutraloaf (horrible-tasting punishment food) and Harley Quinn being told that she'll get killed soon. I guess that showing this treatment is supposed to make us sympathize with these villains, but the problem here is that I don't know who these people are and why I should feel bad for them. I mean, no one deserves nutraloaf or untimely death, but... who are these people????

After that, we cut to government employee Amanda Waller going to dinner with some of her higher-ups to talk about an idea she has: Assemble a group of criminals (including Deadshot and Harley) to use for high-risk missions. I'm going to go ahead and say it: Amanda has some of the most confusing ambitions in this film. In fact, I'm going to start a list right here:

Questions for Amanda, List 1: What if these criminals have enough connections to escape missions without being punished? What can stop these criminals if they decide to go on a killing spree to escape missions? These criminals are humans too, and they will want reparations; will you be willing to deliver?

Trust me, this list will grow.

This movie then does a rookie mistake: telling us about our criminals instead of showing (ESPECIALLY Deadshot and Harley). They did show us clips of their backstories, but backstories aren't necessarily something you'd plaster at the beginning of a movie. I swear they spend 10 minutes trying to show us why we should sympathize with these characters. This is a problem because:

1. They take a break from telling the story to show us why we should care for these characters.

2. It looks like the director changed his mind on how to direct the movie, because the opening scene and these backstories looked like two separate movies.

It doesn't help that Deadshot has one of the most cliche backstories of all time: He is a criminal with one weakness (his daughter). I don't know if this is his actual "canon" backstory-

(I Googled it; I don't think it is)

But they could've at least made the backstory somewhat more creative: like having him fake his death so his daughter could live a life without the burden that her father killed people for money. 

As for Harley, she has quite the original backstory: She fell in love with the Joker while being his psychiatrist and became his accomplice. Batman soon chased them off a bridge and saved Harley from drowning before arresting her (though I have to ask: Why the hell didn't Batman get Joker? Aren't they old enemies or something? The coyote could've finally gotten the roadrunner!). It's actually pretty cool, and my only qualm is that they didn't show this gradually.

Side note: Damn, Harley and Joker look like they're

into some weird kinks

Then they show brief backstories for the less important characters: El Diablo, Boomerang Dude, and Killer Crocodile (aka: Racist Black Stereotype (though this doesn't become apparent until later)).

Then comes the Enchantress story, showing some archaeologist being stupid and opening an artifact making a weird noise (and hence being possessed by some ancient goddess). Apparently, this archaeologist's (aka June) new possession longs for her "heart", which Amanda has control over. June herself is alright, and has (mostly) suppressed her inner (literally inner) demon and found love in a man named Rick (who will become important later). The next scene shows the extent of the power of the Enchantress (who can get secret nuclear codes in an instant) under Amanda's control to prove a point to the Dept. of Security that she can control these criminals. Also, during this scene, the movie turns into a horror film for a second. Just a second.

Apparently controlling demons = Controlling dangerous criminals

This scene, to me, results in...

Questions for Amanda, List 2: How does the ability to control a FUCKING DEMON equate to being able to get felons to obey the US Government? If you can control a demon, can't you just use her for your bidding instead of criminals? After all, demons are essentially invulnerable (It may seem wrong, but since this is Amanda...). Is there seriously no exorcist that can "cure" June? HOW DOES CONTROLLING A DEMON EQUATE TO CONTROLLING CRIMINALS????

I felt like the first question needed to be asked twice, because that was the one racing through my head the most.

So, Amanda, June, and Rick go to the prison where all of these criminals are, and we are introduced to the rest of the team in real life, with the pyromaniac El Diablo refusing to help with the team (claiming that he has changed) and Deadshot showing some of his shooter "skillz".

Actually, let's talk about the Deadshot scene: He is escorted to a tent and given a tale full of weapons to test his ability. By God, this was one of the most poorly laid out scenes of the movie. If Deadshot really couldn't miss a shot, why the flying fuck would you just let him have access to a table of weapons without adding some bulletproof glass on the side opposite the weapons or have them shock him if he attempts to kill a guard. 

Which he does! He attempts to kill a guard, demanding that he sees his daughter if he helps with the squad. He soon drops the threat, but damn... wouldn't the guards know something like that was going to happen???

And then we cut to Joker, who is about to leave to retrieve Harley. This plot point is only important in one scene, which we'll get to later.

So, now we are introduced to all of the Suicide Squad. They get to fight, but what do they fight? The mafia? North Korea? Injustice?

How about demons? Real, supernatural demons?

Yes, The Enchantress is accidentally summoned in June's sleep (by her mumbling it.), and she releases another demon: her brother. She puts his soul into a random passerby and tells him to wait for her, as she needed to grab her heart.

Actually, I have another question right now: How the fuck has the Enchantress not have her heart? If she can instantly get nuclear codes, shouldn't she have the ability to teleport next to Amanda and steal it? Also, why does she need a heart but her brother doesn't? How did Amanda even extract her heart?

Alas, those questions cannot be answered.

(To be continued).