SUICIDE SQUAD: A Review

BEWARE!!!! Spoilers from the movie "Suicide Squad" are below. If you haven't seen the movie yet, read at your own risk!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I have very little experience with the source material this film is based off of. Please forgive me if I get some details incorrect.

See how EDGY we're trying to be? We're SOOO not mainstream!!!

I had fun writing the Nerve review, and since I've recently seen Suicide Squad (on August 14, to be specific), I decided to do another review.

I looked at the #suicidesquad part of Twitter, and I actually didn't find as many "100/10" reviews and "OMG this is the best film ever" people as I did with the #nerve area. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of "this film is so good" kind of people, but there were quite a few "Eh"s. And I myself thought of it as an "eh".

So why is this sequel to Batman vs. Superman (which I haven't seen) an "Eh"? Well, let's see:

The movie starts off at some prison where all of our Suicide Squad members are conveniently at and showing one of the most infamous news stories (at least in this decade): Police brutality! You see hit man Deadshot being given nutraloaf (horrible-tasting punishment food) and Harley Quinn being told that she'll get killed soon. I guess that showing this treatment is supposed to make us sympathize with these villains, but the problem here is that I don't know who these people are and why I should feel bad for them. I mean, no one deserves nutraloaf or untimely death, but... who are these people????

After that, we cut to government employee Amanda Waller going to dinner with some of her higher-ups to talk about an idea she has: Assemble a group of criminals (including Deadshot and Harley) to use for high-risk missions. I'm going to go ahead and say it: Amanda has some of the most confusing ambitions in this film. In fact, I'm going to start a list right here:

Questions for Amanda, List 1: What if these criminals have enough connections to escape missions without being punished? What can stop these criminals if they decide to go on a killing spree to escape missions? These criminals are humans too, and they will want reparations; will you be willing to deliver?

Trust me, this list will grow.

This movie then does a rookie mistake: telling us about our criminals instead of showing (ESPECIALLY Deadshot and Harley). They did show us clips of their backstories, but backstories aren't necessarily something you'd plaster at the beginning of a movie. I swear they spend 10 minutes trying to show us why we should sympathize with these characters. This is a problem because:

1. They take a break from telling the story to show us why we should care for these characters.

2. It looks like the director changed his mind on how to direct the movie, because the opening scene and these backstories looked like two separate movies.

It doesn't help that Deadshot has one of the most cliche backstories of all time: He is a criminal with one weakness (his daughter). I don't know if this is his actual "canon" backstory-

(I Googled it; I don't think it is)

But they could've at least made the backstory somewhat more creative: like having him fake his death so his daughter could live a life without the burden that her father killed people for money. 

As for Harley, she has quite the original backstory: She fell in love with the Joker while being his psychiatrist and became his accomplice. Batman soon chased them off a bridge and saved Harley from drowning before arresting her (though I have to ask: Why the hell didn't Batman get Joker? Aren't they old enemies or something? The coyote could've finally gotten the roadrunner!). It's actually pretty cool, and my only qualm is that they didn't show this gradually.

Side note: Damn, Harley and Joker look like they're

into some weird kinks

Then they show brief backstories for the less important characters: El Diablo, Boomerang Dude, and Killer Crocodile (aka: Racist Black Stereotype (though this doesn't become apparent until later)).

Then comes the Enchantress story, showing some archaeologist being stupid and opening an artifact making a weird noise (and hence being possessed by some ancient goddess). Apparently, this archaeologist's (aka June) new possession longs for her "heart", which Amanda has control over. June herself is alright, and has (mostly) suppressed her inner (literally inner) demon and found love in a man named Rick (who will become important later). The next scene shows the extent of the power of the Enchantress (who can get secret nuclear codes in an instant) under Amanda's control to prove a point to the Dept. of Security that she can control these criminals. Also, during this scene, the movie turns into a horror film for a second. Just a second.

Apparently controlling demons = Controlling dangerous criminals

This scene, to me, results in...

Questions for Amanda, List 2: How does the ability to control a FUCKING DEMON equate to being able to get felons to obey the US Government? If you can control a demon, can't you just use her for your bidding instead of criminals? After all, demons are essentially invulnerable (It may seem wrong, but since this is Amanda...). Is there seriously no exorcist that can "cure" June? HOW DOES CONTROLLING A DEMON EQUATE TO CONTROLLING CRIMINALS????

I felt like the first question needed to be asked twice, because that was the one racing through my head the most.

So, Amanda, June, and Rick go to the prison where all of these criminals are, and we are introduced to the rest of the team in real life, with the pyromaniac El Diablo refusing to help with the team (claiming that he has changed) and Deadshot showing some of his shooter "skillz".

Actually, let's talk about the Deadshot scene: He is escorted to a tent and given a tale full of weapons to test his ability. By God, this was one of the most poorly laid out scenes of the movie. If Deadshot really couldn't miss a shot, why the flying fuck would you just let him have access to a table of weapons without adding some bulletproof glass on the side opposite the weapons or have them shock him if he attempts to kill a guard. 

Which he does! He attempts to kill a guard, demanding that he sees his daughter if he helps with the squad. He soon drops the threat, but damn... wouldn't the guards know something like that was going to happen???

And then we cut to Joker, who is about to leave to retrieve Harley. This plot point is only important in one scene, which we'll get to later.

So, now we are introduced to all of the Suicide Squad. They get to fight, but what do they fight? The mafia? North Korea? Injustice?

How about demons? Real, supernatural demons?

Yes, The Enchantress is accidentally summoned in June's sleep (by her mumbling it.), and she releases another demon: her brother. She puts his soul into a random passerby and tells him to wait for her, as she needed to grab her heart.

Actually, I have another question right now: How the fuck has the Enchantress not have her heart? If she can instantly get nuclear codes, shouldn't she have the ability to teleport next to Amanda and steal it? Also, why does she need a heart but her brother doesn't? How did Amanda even extract her heart?

Alas, those questions cannot be answered.

(To be continued).

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Don't worry- I will continue to blog here as well!

- J.E. Kay

NERVE: A Review (Part 2)

BEWARE!!!!! Spoilers from the movie "Nerve" are below! Read at your own risk if you're planning to see the movie!!!

Now I have the NERVE to Continue this

Sorry for not continuing my review sooner; I've had to travel recently and that put a blunder on my schedule.

Anyway... back to the review.

If you don't remember my prediction for this movie's ending, it was this: Vee and Ian will be the last two players standing, having played the game together, and will have to fight to the death. Magically, the two will make it out alive and Vee will accept her invitation from California school. 

And how right has this been? Well, Vee and Ian are now the last two players of Nerve standing, and Vee has a plan to escape the game, involving Tommy meeting with Dudette and trying to take down the Nerve servers (yeah, apparently the Nerve coordinators overlooked that tiny mishap). Also, Vee's mom is with Tommy because she has lost ALL of her money from her bank account and wants to know what the flying fuck Vee is doing (again, another blunder the Nerve crew overlooked: Wouldn't SOME person of authority find out about the game at this point?). 

But for now, that detail isn't too important.

Instead, we need to focus on our young, hip crowd!

So Vee and Ian make it to this coliseum, being viewed by thousands of watchers (the ones near them in Anonymous-esque costumes). The final dare is revealed: One of the players must shoot the other (proving my "they will fight to the death" theory). This brings up the plot hole I revealed in the first part of my review: Couldn't Ian just forfeit the game here? If he did, they wouldn't have to die and Vee would technically win. However, instead, the movie just throws some cheap tension at us (beaming with Will Ian shoot Vee? Will Vee shoot Ian?) until Ty shows up out of nowhere, claiming that he will complete the dare. Vee dares Ty to shoot her, and he does so.

Yep, everyone witnessed the murder of a girl and the movie ends on that note. The end.

Oh, if only filmmaking could be that creative...

Instead, Tommy and Dudette manage to hack the Nerve servers and make everyone feel guilty about being involved with the murder of a high schooler. And then guess what? Vee turns out to be alive, and Ty and Sydney knew about the situation the whole time!

Which is another problem with this film: They fucking literally pulled that twist out of their asses. I'm not upset that the protagonist turned out to be alive (Okay, I kind of am. That is one of the most cliche twists in the history of history), but having an antagonist turn out to be good in the end? Hot damn, that was a sudden twist NO ONE was prepared for. You may think that't the point, but I at least want SOME REASON why Ty would leave the dark side, which this movie FAILS to do! To quote a typical teen, WTF?!

So I guess you can know the rest of the ending: Vee accepts her invitation from California school and she and Ian (whose real name is revealed: Sam) become a couple, calling the game their "first date". The end.

Overall, this is a pretty stereotyped film. The characters are rehashes from other media, the twist is cliche, the graphics and concept are cool (as well as the acting), but none of those features excuse the lackluster delivery, cliche "suspense", and plot holes this film has. I'm still not sure why young people like it so much, but I guess I'm just not "in the vibe" or whatever.

Overall, this is a 4/10. If you like thriller films and are REALLY forgiving, I recommend it.

Thank you for reading my first film review. I'm going to see Suicide Squad this weekend, so maybe I'll do another one of these.